We are all complex, multi-sided creatures, and rarely do we meet someone who meshes with all our facets. This means that not all of our friends get along with one another. This is fine; it is part of life. However, what happens when that special someone, that person you connect with on the deepest levels, your significant other does not mesh with most of the rest of your friends?

Sometimes, this disparity makes sense. You sometimes love someone who grates on the nerves of others. Sometimes you find compatibility in ways that aren’t obvious to others. This can still work; there are plenty of successful couples that, on the outside, look very strange.

However, be careful. Your friends are, in some ways, your safety net. If they don’t like the person you are with, there might be a real concern. Sometimes, it’s easier to see what is wrong when you aren’t in the relationship. If none of youriends like the person you are dating, it might be worth your while to take a second look at one or the other.

That having been said, you might take a long, hard look at both your friends and your relationship and decide that they are both good the way they are. You still have the problem of keeping both your friends and your mate. Just like juggling different groups of friends, you can split your time between your significant other and your friends, doing different activities together and having fun separately. Everyone wants to spend more time with his or her mate, especially during the early phases of the relationship. The situation gets worse if you have to tell your mate that your friends don’t like him or her, that you need to go alone. How can your mate understand that? Just like when you have friends that don’t get along, you have to make decisions, split your time, and find a way to budget for all of it.

This is hard. Sometimes, it can be very hard. Nobody has infinite time, limitless patience and an endless supply of attention to spend on his or her favorite people. You usually end up with three choices: find friends that like your partner, find a partner that your friends like or find a balance somewhere between. Unless you have a very understanding partner, this last option can be hard. No matter how you approach it, this is a tough problem. Love is rarely easy, but it is usually worth it. So love your partners, love your friends and maybe somewhere in there you will find a place where everyone is happy. This is where the fourth choice, the hardest option, lies: bring them together, and see if you can get your friends to see in your partner what you do. Sometimes knowledge breeds love, and that might allow you to build a bridge between your heart and your friends.