Almost a month into quarantine and I’m sure we’ve all exhausted every avenue of things to do to keep us occupied.

I have taken the liberty upon myself to create a list of unique activities to do during quarantine, and I would like to stress the word unique as there are plenty of “what to do during quarantine” lists out there on the internet. I can assure you that there is no other list like this anywhere else in the world.

• Master the art of threading a string through a needle.
• Eat some grass. You haven’t done this since kindergarten, maybe it tastes better now that you’re older.
• Wear your retainer like your orthodontist said.
• Give Nickleback another chance. They really weren’t that bad.
• Leave your siblings door open after you told them dinner was ready.
• Give yourself bangs. What could go wrong?
• Dunk vanilla wafers in lemonade. Trust me on this one.
• Stare into space and think about that one embarrassing thing you did that one time. Cringe at your past self. Hope that no one else remembers what happened.
• Grow a mustache. No excuses, ladies.
• Hug a chicken. They want to be loved too.
• Bring back the cinnamon challenge. Because we never learned our lesson the first time.
• Kill a queen ant. Take over the colony. Become the ant mother.
• Get to know your friendly, everyday telemarketer.
• Contribute to the millennial movement of killing the doorbell industry.
• Rearrange the keys on your keyboard so they’re alphabetical.