After Clair Wiederholt’s divorce, he was unable to see his kids for many years. His ex-wife had been granted full custody of their children and was opposed to his presence in their lives. However, he never gave up trying to be a part of their lives, he said.

“My kids were experiencing what I would consider a psychological disorder and I wasn’t going to give up on them anymore than I would if they were physically sick,” Wiederholt said.

After undergoing a variety of hardships related to his divorce and his children, Wiederholt, retired Madison College instructor, decided to write a book on his experiences, Crossing Medea: My Fight to Remain a Dad.

“It’s something I felt like I had to do, like I didn’t have a choice,” he said. “Also, I wanted a record of this for myself and for my kids. It’s a story that I know a lot of other fathers have gone through, and I wanted to share it with them.”

While Wiederholt was an instructor at Madison Area Technical College, he developed a course called Men: Social and Psychological Perspectives. During this time, there were six women’s studies classes at Madison College and Wiederholt was going through a traumatic fathering experience. Thus, he felt compelled to pioneer a course directed toward men who mostly wanted to be dads.

Students’ reactions about the men’s studies course were positive. Wiederholt said they described the class as “eye opening” because they were introduced to the untold perspective of men in America.

“Mothers don’t have to worry about having access to their kids, but the culture doesn’t value fathers,” Wiederholt said. “The culture values fathers even less now, I think. A lot of sitcoms sort of portray men as being men and incompetent and fathers are seen as somewhat superficial as well. If they want to get a different view of men and fathers, that course is really good. My book really brings it out, especially how the court and culture sees dads.”

Wiederholt’s book highlights how persistence can pay off in the end. After his divorce, he didn’t see two of his daughters for periods of up to eight years. It took 16 years to reunite with his third daughter. He recognized that many men would give up trying to see their kids after this long, but he is grateful that he persisted.

Wiederholt described his book as a “compelling, dramatic narrative.” It’s a true story about his and his kids’ experiences. He shared that writing this book gave him a sense of relief and was therapeutic to him, he said. The experiences he was going through were life-changing and by writing this book, he was able to make sense of it all.

Once Wiederholt began the writing process, he was determined to finish it. He started writing the book about five years ago, soon after retiring, but the content within the book occurred 20 years ago. He had to refresh himself, but since he had all of the papers, court documents and photographs, the process went smoothly.

“It took me probably most of the fall semester to write it,” he said. “I was fairly disciplined. I would start in the morning at eight and quit at noon and go work outdoors for the rest of the day, typically.”

After the book was published, Wiederholt received a lot of positive feedback from friends and family. At first, he was scared to share his story because it was so personal, but he said that everyone has been very accepting. To him, it’s rewarding.

Wiederholt hopes that the main concepts people take away from his book are how important fatherhood is, how badly kids need a father, and that when one perseveres, it is most often rewarding in the end.

“It’s not all pain and suffering,” he said. “It’s pain and suffering that leads to positive things in the end.”