I stare into my closet and think, “How on earth am I going to fit all this into one suitcase and one carry-on bag?”

Good question.

Packing for a trip is hard. Packing for four months abroad is really hard. I’m kind of a pack rat, and my room at home is filled with new things I’ve picked up, and old things that I haven’t had the heart to throw away. Looking at all of the stuff that I have deemed necessary to live a normal, 21st-century life, I’m having trouble coming up with a system of determining what I actually will need.

I am a student in Madison College’s Graphic Design program. In a normal summer, I would be getting ready to go back to school on Aug. 26; I’d be memorizing my class schedule, buying too many notebooks and not enough mechanical pencils, and trying to fit in a few more hours in the sunlight before starting my classes at Madison College again.

This semester is different because I am going to be studying abroad in Carlow, Ireland. So while all of my classmates are getting ready for a semester of rigorous design classes, I am packing my rain boots and blowing the dust off of my Skype account, and Googling pictures of old castles.

Getting ready to live abroad is like stepping onto an emotional roller coaster. One day I am ready to throw some things in a suitcase and hop on a plane, the next day I just want to stay in bed and wonder why I’m doing something this big and different and, well, scary.

I know from my research that this isn’t unusual for students studying abroad. Living in another country, and learning how to live in another culture is a massive emotional change. I can’t stop home from another country, so what little I can pack in my suitcase is important. Some of my packing list includes things I’ll need in Ireland, like a sturdy raincoat and boots to deal with the wet weather, while other things are reminders of home, and my own culture.

Some things I’m packing are my anxiety about living on my own for the first time, my cultural biases and my American accent. I’m packing my childhood belief in fairies and Irish folklore, and mom’s chocolate-chip pancake recipe. I’m packing advice from relatives who have travelled abroad, and stories of the places they went and the things they loved and hated. I’m packing memories of friends and family, bags of my favorite blends of tea … hopes, thoughts, and fears.

Because I worked at a bead store for two years, and old habits die hard, I’m packing way too much jewelry. Of course I’m taking my camera so I can take pictures of everything. I’m also bringing an open mind, and the philosophy that everyone I meet has a story to tell, if I stop long enough to hear it.

It’s important to bring to-do lists and itineraries, bank account statements and a passport–everything I need to prove to the Irish government that they should let me live in their country for a few months.

It took me a long time to decide which books I should bring. Being a shameless bookworm, trying to narrow my choices down to one or two is terribly difficult. I finally had it down to a book of poetry by Charles Bukowski, in addition to a couple of textbooks I need for classes.

I really wanted to pack my cat, but decided she wouldn’t like the trip. She’s happy to help me pack everything else, but she’ll be staying at home when I leave.

Packing is a very frustrating process, and probably my least favorite part about traveling. I can only hope that what I’ve packed will turn out to be just the things I need when I’m abroad.